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Living & Learning From Our Past Mistakes

We all make mistakes but its what we do with the results that make us – if you learn nothing it certainly is a mistake but if you do learn something i.e. that is not how to behave or better what to do better next time then all is not lost.

It is important to be aware of your own behavior because whether you like it or not you are responsible, if you let yourself go unsupervised then you are only going to perpetuate bad habits.

I have written about this topic before and I speak from experience when I say letting yourself go can be more counterproductive than being overly disciplined. The important thing to remember is that being disciplined is not in anyway a bad thing but if you use it to punish yourself then you have completely missed the point. The principle is to use the discipline to make yourself more motivated and boost your self-esteem thus encouraging you to do better.

For example realising that your negative attitude comes from a lack of willingness to try due to complete lack of confidence means you need to address the confidence issue in order to boost your positivity, I am no expert at this and indeed I am no psychologist but this is what I have learnt through self reflection.

Coping mechanisms can be learnt – whether it be through CBT or straight forward talking therapy – if you really feel like you need professional support but you will find there are plenty of people around you who want to see you succeed not fail. This might be a bitter pill to swallow and I have certainly found this is the case, its difficult to accept that you are the pariah of your own problems – as adults we are fully in control of our own minds and its important to accept that our emotions are part of us, yes they may be somewhat unstable and sometimes they might get in the way but there are ways we can keep them under control.

My friend has always tried to teach me to look at my hands – the left being negative thoughts and the right being positive, weigh it up – does it create a positive influence on your mood/situation/life? If the answer is no then you have your answer.

As I have mentioned in previous posts there are also plenty of mental health apps which can help you unpack your feelings if you dont fancy talking to someone – if you want a list of these apps please check out my post Tackling Awkward Times which has a list of suggested resources.

person holding note with be kind text
Photo by Lisa on Pexels.com

Most of all be kind to yourself – life might seem horrendously difficult at the time but as long as you are still breathing and your heart is beating you are surviving. Whilst I have never experienced any significant trauma in my life I have seen others go through it. The steps were only tiny at times but they got there eventually, relapsing is part of recovery and makes you stronger. A friend struggled with addiction for many years, it got them into dangerous situations and it was difficult to watch, now they are happy and healthy and although the occasional bad dream comes to visit they have learnt that their sub conscious cannot hurt them.

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