I have now got an age were things start to be ’20 years ago’, it happens to everyone I accept that I just didn’t think it would be this soon. The upside is that I have thus far created some pretty special memories (some not so much but hey).

19 years ago I left school and fell straight into the goth/grunge/heavy metal scene, it was everything I wanted, it played to my serious and pouty demeanour. My Dad had always encouraged my love of music and brought me CDs home from all over the world, different metal from different places, but it all started with a band called Slipknot, you may or may not have heard of them. They were my happy, sad, breakup every emotion band, I find myself now sat with a copy of their latest album in front of me wondering how and why does it still give me that thrill?

I excitedly tore the packaging open like a school girl when it arrived. I’m 35 now so surely this childish behaviour should have been grown out of, well probably but I think you need to do what makes you happy and if it means indulging your inner child ever so often then i’m all for it.

I like some have a strong emotional attachment to music, the important thing to remember is not to relive the same negative emotions learn to deal with it if you can if not but acknowledge them and move on. You can turn negatives into positives and grow.

As I sit here listening to “We Are Not Your Kind” – its good to hear the familiar screaming and melodies, it reminds me of their self-titled album. A nostalgic feeling rises through me remembering the thrill of my first concert seeing them in London, my boyfriend at the times mum lovingly drove us up for the gig and I ended up in the intro for the dvd well the side of me did anyway – did not know this until my friend at the time in Japan messaged me in our chatroom all excited.

I will fully admit that I still have Gothic tastes, I still love black but there is more to life than depression and wallowing so I like to think of myself more quirky than goth.

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