For me, having things on my mind hurts, i hate arguments, i hate confrontation, the last 24 hours have been painful to say the least, one mistake lead to an argument i didnt want to happen, i understand that friends of friends dont always get along but why they cant just keep their thoughts to themselves is beyond me, if i can keep my opinion to myself my friends should respect this and try and do the same.
I have a very small number of friends and at the moment the circle is getting smaller not wider and that hurts, i dont want the friends that have fallen out to make up i just want them to not use me as some kind of battle ground where i am made to choose which side i am on, my loyalty to my friends knows no bounds but being pulled from pillar to post and demanded to choose between 2 people is beyond unfair and i wont do it, if im honest i would rather have no friends and make new ones than be made to take sides against one or the other and i cannot believe that people are not mature enough to respect that especially when i would never be so jealous as to make someone choose.
I can only hope that the letter i wrote to order my thoughts can be read objectively and make a difference to the situation rather than just make it worse and mean that i lose more things that i cherish more than anything in my life.
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